JAMMED

You think; you blink. You stink; you sink. (Read 'you' as I)


I think a more apt title to Just a minute, (also called JAM since your jaws get jammed making you sound like a cacophony of croaking crows in most part of the 'game') would be (do) I exist?! You need to concentrate on making sure you are visible. Shady sounds, filthy faces and arbit actions are all in the game.
I "played" it. Once. Game.
If you are a beginner, here are a few rules that might help you. (They didn't do much good to me though)
1. No matter what anyone utters, push the buzzer. They are out of context and irrelevant. Not to mention stupid. (Except when the moderator speaks. You might be too busy swearing at him to press the buzzer)
2. This one is dangerous: But you might want to try impressing the moderator. Mostly he's just an ass who doesn't laugh. (Ours actually said he'll give 10 points to anyone who makes him laugh and spent rest of the 'game' making weird noises trying to suppress a laugh)
3. You suck at the game. Accept the fact. And laugh your head off. Just to irritate the one sitting next to you by not letting him listen or think. (rg :P )

I think I should mention now what the topic of "discussion" was. "My grandfather smokes grass. My parents smoke grass. I smoke grass. We are a joint family".
No clue what that meant? Join the club! I mean. I'm sitting there, 'playing' JAM for the first time and the topic is this. I understood every word of it. I got smoke. I got grass. I just didn't get the connection. I spent all my time from the mention of the topic thinking of good starters.
"My grandfather fed me on grass.."
"I chew gum, churn grass, but smoke cigar"
"Smoke in the lawn implies grass burning .." (What the hell ?? )
It never really actually matters what you are saying as long as they are words. Any will do. You just need to say something and cross your fingers, praying that someone would press the damn buzzer and release you of what can only be described as pain. The topic, (thanks to rule 1) is obviously least important and it doesn't matter whether you understand or not).

Something, I don't remember exactly what, made me think my buzzer wasn't looking right sometime midway and I thought of testing it out. I pressed it with all my macho (read as Milo) might. I heaved a sigh of relief. Yaiii!! My buzzer was working! Apparently, when I was fooling around with the buzzer, a chap had just raised an objection and switched on the mike to speak.

"Speaker No 4!!"(that is me, by the way), the moderator's voice boomed, "What's your objection?" I smiled at him. (Rule 2 in action) Then I patiently took the mike. Shit! Rule 1 ruled out; that guy hadn't uttered a word. Left with rule 3, I said, "Late start, sir". Yes, my conscience pricked me as I said it. But the moderator bought my objection (I think it was the sir he bought more or maybe the smile ;) ) anyway he said, "Ok, Speaker No 4. You are on!"

My mind : Say something. Remember the starters you came up with. Shoot one of them.
Me : Er...
My mind :Ok. Topic is irrelevant. Tell the moderator your name.
Me : Er...
My mind : Open your (censored words) mouth...

I open my mouth. Words don't come out. I'll rephrase that. Words don't come out. The speaker gives me a dirty expression and continues with the next speaker.
After what seemed like hours, the guy next to me stammered. I screamed "AA haa!!" and yanked for the buzzer. By the time it was my turn to speak, I gathered that the topic had been changed (I had no idea what it was) . "You are on!" That idiot boo(m)ed at me again. I cleared my throat and yelled "I wanna hit you!"
At that moment, the minute had ended. (Just a "minute" remember?? )

Now the best part of JAM rules. An additional 20 points is given to the person who completes the minute irrespective of how much he has spoken. Just to commend his not being interrupted by objections.

All's well that ends well. What say? :P